Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The nothingness of unemployment

I wonder when I'll get used to the life of the unemployed. Only 6 days in and I'm fit to be tied. I'm still not into a regular routine. I do get up reasonably early and get online. And try to find something to do all morning, but it's hard. There's really not much to find or look at or do that feels productive.

Today, I did the usual search of the web sites, LinkedIn, etc. Sent my resume off to yet another recruiter. I hate recuiter web sites. They post jobs that don't exist. At this one recruiter's site, I saw a couple of contractor jobs that looked promising. So, in goes the resume, I make a LinkedIn connection, I send email.

I get the usual answer...Thanks and we'll keep you in mind.

I got one phone call today for a job that was impossibly far away for way too low money. I got email from another company saying "we're all set for now with contractors, but here, we'll send you a writing test. Send it back to us and we'll keep you in mind."

I got another call for a job that is still impossibly far away with no flexibility and no telecommuting. The work doesn't sound interesting and it's not a contract job so they want you to be 100% committed to wanting the job. But, the salary range sounded promising. I didn't think in my current state of mind that I could fake my interest. So I let it go. The recruiter promised to keep my resume in their "hot file" in case something at a higher level and with more flexibility shows up.

I'm second guessing myself now. Maybe I should have given it a try...maybe it would have been OK. Or is that just the voice of desperation speaking to me? I know, I know. I've only been out of work for a week. Patience, grasshopper.

But at least some response, even if it's no thanks, is better than nothing. A step in the right direction.

I hate waiting. I hate the empty email inbox. I hate the phone that doesn't ring. I sent out requests for LinkedIn recommendations and 2 of the 8 people have responded with really, really nice recommendations. I'm wondering if the others will bother.

As I've said before...it's the uncertainty of it all. Everyone tells me that in the long run, I'll be better off. I'll be content to be "just as good" rather than better.

Tonight I have "glass therapy." I will go to my beadmaking instructor's studio and do some work at the torch. It will get me out of the house and focused on something else for a few hours.

Tomorrow, I'll call the recruiters that I haven't talked to since last week. I'm supposed to go into town to have lunch with a former co-worker. Maybe she has a nice positive attitude that will help me with my bad attitude. I'll do the writing test and send that in. I'll make an appointment to get my routine maintenance on the car done.

And then, maybe I'll sit on the couch and eat chocolate, to console myself.

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