Monday, November 8, 2010

Sometimes I get it right...

Last week,while he was here in the States for a company visit,  my UK friend was told that his employment was being terminated. This is the same friend who had decided to find a new job, anyway, but he expected to leave on his own terms and in his own time. Being told that he was being "terminated" before he had all his ducks in a row, was quite a blow. Having been in similar situations, I knew exactly how he felt and was able to articulate those feelings when talking with him, to show I understood how he felt (he tries very hard to be uber-stoic, so when I saw his sadness, I knew he was taking the situation hard). Did what I could to ease the pain, as any friend would do.

Today, in a IM chat, he told me how much my support meant to him. :-) Considering how logical, rational, and pragmatic his demeanor usually is, the fact that he shared that sentiment with me is a big thing. Oh, I knew he appreciated my support, but it went deeper than I thought.

I don't always get it right when it comes to figuring out what someone else needs at any particular time. I got it right this time and I feel good knowing that I was able to bring the right kind of help to someone who needed it.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Bad Behavior

Mine, of course. As much as I strive to be a "person without drama," sometimes I lose sight of my goal and allow myself to be caught up in a moment and poof! behavior I regret.

Had a bit of an argument with someone last night while at another person's house. I felt the person I was arguing with was being hostile and somewhat passive aggressive with me. I finally had had enough and pushed back. Of course, I should have spoken to the person outside of the social situation I was in, but I was "in the moment" and spoke my mind. It was a short moment and came at the end of the evening, but still, I'm sure it was an uncomfortable moment for the host of the evening. I've sent her my apologies for my behavior.

The person I argued with has behaved this way before and in the past, I let it go. I don't think I can do that this time.  Last night, it got to the point where I didn't feel I could even talk because this person would make a snide or passive aggressive comment.

Lately, I feel like I'm surrounded by people who seem to be dismissive of me or just plain mean. Makes me wonder -- is it something that I'm doing or am I just (finally) holding people so my standards of behavior regarding what is or is not acceptable?

Must think on that...

Monday, November 1, 2010

Surprise! I'm going to miss you...

Well, not *you*, but a friend of mine.

A friend of mine lives in the UK, but, for the last few years, he has come to the States for 3 weeks every three months or so for his job (he works for a US company).  When he comes, I get to spend a reasonable amount of time visiting with him on the weekends. We usually have lots of fun, I get a nice change to my normal routine, and most times, I end up going places I wouldn't normally go.

And, he's my oyster buddy :-) He introduced me to the joys of raw oysters and when he's here, we have oysters at least once during his visit.

Recently, he's decided it's time to find another job. And I agree. He's very, very smart, driven, and extremely motivated to create great software products. Not something he can do in his current job. He's been dissatisfied with his work for awhile, but giving up the frequent trips to visit his US friends has kept him holding on.  But, to no one's surprise, he's reached his limit and is now ready to find a new job (and he has a few options lined up).  It all makes sense to me and I am happy that he's ready to do something that's more satisfying and more in line with his talents.

A day later after we talked about this, I suddenly realized that I'm going to miss his visits. And, I'm totally surprised. He's a good friend, but we're not especially close. When he's not here, we don't communicate much. And while we have good times together, we don't share close, personal things very often.  So, I'm surprised at how much I suddenly feel a loss. I know that I'll visit him, and I'm sure he'll come for visits as well -- he has a lot of friends here. But, I didn't realize how much his visits had become a part of my general routine. Once every three months, there he was.

Today, I felt oddly happy and sad. Happy that my friend has a bright future ahead of him and is going to go out and reach for it. And yet so sad that this change means I won't have as many fun times with a friend who, apparently, has come to mean more to me than I realized.