Monday, October 12, 2009

A moment of trust

Several years ago, I was working with a project team that was so dysfunctional, we were put through a team building seminar. In the long run, the seminar didn't really work ...we did exactly what the seminar leader warned about..we backslid.

But I did learn a few things about avoiding victim mentality (making excuses, instead of taking responsibility for ones actions) and about trust.

For trust to exist, each party in the relationship has to be willing to make themselves vulnerable by sharing something personal. One person has to take that risk first, and in many cases, the other person will recognize this and reciprocate. Thus, is trusting relationship born.

Last night, someone reached out to me and asked for my support. I was honored, indeed. This person is someone I recently met. She's a cool person and we've been friendly, yet not close friends (I haven't known her all that long). She's having some issues and needed to let her support system know that she was in need. And, she asked me to be part of that support system.

I recognize the courage and risk she took by reaching out to someone who she doesn't know very well. She is willing trust me with something that's so very personal. I admire and value that type of courage. And I have some understanding of what she's going through. And knowing that she is willing to trust me leads me to believe that I can trust her and let her be part of my own support system.

While I feel sad that this friend is struggling (and yes, I feel that I can call her "friend" now), there's also a sense of warmth that this person feels that I am worthy of her trust. A key goal for me is to BE a trustworthy person so I can build close connections with only trustworthy people.

Without trust, our relationships have so little meaning.

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