settling in

Just about a month since I started the new job and I'm settling in. People are quite nice, I'm on the verge of getting into production mode (I'd better hustle, I've got a July 20th deadline and a heck of a lot of work to do!), and the commute is easy. All in all, I'm feeling rather relaxed and comfy. For the first time, in a long time, I'm not particularly worried about how fitting in or being part of the "in" crowd. I find that I don't really care about the whole "corporate bonding" thing. I'm just happy to have some interesting work to do and a place to go every day. Working at home was easy and convenient, but overall, not good for me on an emotional level. Much better for me to get out and about.

There is one vague bit of uneasiness. When I was interviewing for the job, one of my friends wrote a wonderful, unsolicited recommendation for me. My friend knows one of the principal people in the company and the recommendation impressed that person greatly. I have mixed feelings about this. It was an incredibly kind and wonderful thing that my friend did. I didn't ask for it -- my friend took it upon herself to do this...as any good friend would do. I would do it myself.

On the other hand, I can't help but wonder if I would have landed the job on my own merits. Of course, that's the point of getting recommendations...they DO help you to get a job. And, I did work on a project with my friend. And did a good job. But still, there's a vague sense of unease. In time, I will prove that the recommendations reflected the truth of my abilities. Until then, I will need to deal with this vague whisper in the back of my mind that questions whether it was how well I interviewed that was the primary reason for my new job or the words of others.

I suppose, in the long run, it really doesn't matter. What matters is where I am today and what I plan to do with the opportunity.