Boredom vs Inspiration or Motivation

I've read that boredom is not necessarily something to be unhappy about. Rather, boredom can be the source of inspiration or motivation to change.

So, although I've felt incredibly bored with just about everything for the last couple of months (life,the universe, and everything), I've just let it be, thinking that at some point, something would catch my mind's eye and I would emerge from the foggy state of nothingness that I've allowed to percolate.

Might be something to it. Just this week, I've found a bit of motivation to move a couple of steps out of my current rut. For example:

For a couple of years, I've mumbled vaguely about fixing up the condo. Things are just starting to fall apart or get worn out (hmm, looks like I need to glue that laminate countertop in the bathroom AGAIN).  Last weekend, I purchased a new tool chest from an antique store that I'm going to use as a repository for all the arts 'n crafts supplies that are scattered everywhere. That meant, I had to get serious about getting rid of the old desktop PC and the computer desk (PC is too old to be useful and the desk is starting to fall apart). I was in Lowe's looking for some glue to do a minor repair on the chest (hey, it's 97 years old, a bit of repair isn't unexpected!) and as I passed by the countertop displays, a sample of a recycled glass countertop caught my eye. Poof! Like being hit by a lightening bolt, I started to research the company and just ordered some samples today. Found a list of suppliers for the product (not sure Lowe's will be the best installers). I'll do some measuring this week and get out to one or two stores to get some estimates.

And, I'm making good progress on getting rid of the PC. I converted the desktop into a Virtual Machine, loaded that onto my laptop, and am now working on wiping the hard drive so I can recycle the hardware. This weekend, I'll tear down the PC desk and trash it. Another step forward!

After procrastinating for a couple of months, I finally got the plumber in to make some minor repairs to the 2nd bathroom (motivated a lot by the fact that I expect a friend to come visit overnight next week...nothing like company to get me moving). And, am now researching new shower heads/faucet for the bath in the Master Bath (which is about ready to disintegrate from our hard water). In fact, I have a couple of selections picked out and I'll ask my plumber whether either of them will work. If so, I'll go ahead and schedule that work before procrastination envelops me again.

Next on my list is to research a possible "retirement career" and I've actually found an online program that just might be what I want. My thought is this...in order to maintain my current, comfy lifestyle when I stop working full time (if I can acquire enough $$$ to do so!!), I'll probably want to continue working part time for awhile. I can't imagine that I'll continue as a tech writer...mostly because I'm totally bored with the job and have absolutely no ambition to learn any of the new stuff or become a social media expert. I need to figure out something else. The one thing that seems like a possibility is learning to be an archivist. Which means, I need a Masters in Library Science. Now, archivist salaries aren't very high and I have no idea where I would find a job (local historic society or museum?), but by that time, I won't need a full salary, so I'm guessing it won't matter much. Will I be able to make this work? I dunno, but at least I'm feeling motivated enough to look at it!

Did I just get bored with being bored? Or did I just need "time off" for awhile?

Winter of Darkness and Discontent?

Is it because Winter is the dark time that dark news seems to come in wave after wave?

Not for me, that is. But for several people around me. The husband of one friend completed suicide. Another friend is having serious issues with his spouse and isn't sure that they will remain together. The brother-in-law of another friend was just diagnosed with colon cancer. A former co-worker of mine recently divorced her husband of many years. A friend's elderly mother has some type of lung infection that might require some hospitalization.

Makes me wonder what's coming around the corner. Knock on virtual wood, there's nothing new going on for me, same old routine. I'm actually feeling quite grateful for the mundane and steady routine.

Yay! Time off from work! Hooray!

T-2 days and counting!

Every year, I do my best to take the last week of the year as vacation. Someone asked me recently why I think it's the best week to have off. I said, "I don't know, but it is!"

Once upon a time, I worked for a company that closed down that last week. Makes sense as so many people take off anyway. For some reason, this became a tradition of mine. Sometimes I travel during this week. Last year, I went to London. This year, goin' no where but home.

I was away a lot this year. Usual trips to Florida, weekend in NYC, a weekend in the White Mountains, a sailing cruise around the New England coast, and a visit to Prague. I'm quite content to stay home and finally, catch up on the house projects that I've ignored for ...well...years

I know, I say this all the time. I'm going to get rid of the junk, clean up, reorganize. But, I've told everyone that's my plan for this week, so I have some motivation to really get the work done. Yes, I am sure I will get to know my local dumpster very well as I expect to visit it several times a day :-) And various other donation centers as I finally get rid of stuff that has lingered in my home way too long.

Hooray! Yay! Can't believe I'm actually looking forward to cleaning ...I love a clean home but hate being the one who is supposed to make it happen. Sure, I could hire a cleaning service. But wait, that's too embarrassing to do because ... I have TOO MUCH STUFF!  I have to clean before I would allow some stranger to come in and clean! Nutty, eh?

Sorry "stuff", your time has come to go away! I have no desire to become a candidate for that Hoarders show on TV.  I am so looking forward to starting the year with a whole lot less clutter.

The only fear...once I have cleared out the existing stuff, will I, as George Carlin has said, just go out and buy MORE stuff??

Thanks, Dad, for that shopping gene...:-)

I am grateful...

As trite as it sounds, looking at someone's troubles can make your own seem trivial or, at least manageable.

A friend of mine is going through a horrible time. And every few days, some new burden is placed on her shoulders. I don't know how she is able to get through each day. And watching what's happening to her is breaking my heart because I feel so inept and lacking in the skills to help her. I don't know the right things to say or do. And just offering my support doesn't seem enough.

Which brings me to the gratitude bit. As much as I might complain, about things in my life, issues at work, or a daily annoyance, I feel enormously grateful for what I do have.

I have a home that I can afford. It's small, it's located in an out of the way place, but it's mine and I can make it comfortable. I am employed. At times, I've hated my job, but today, I'm loving it. I have it, it pays well, and I can be in a much, much worse situation. Seems silly now, watching what my friend is enduring, to complain about perceived slights or frustrations at work.

I have some good people in my life, some of whom I have not appreciated enough lately.  This past weekend was lovely -- a nature walk with one good friend, a wonderful trip to a museum with another. Good conversations, good company. All good. Today, I had lunch with another friend and discovered that my Christmas gift was the perfect one for him. It was so nice to know that I had been able to do something that brought joy to someone else.

Lately, I've been impatient and demanding with some people. Today, I realize I should be grateful and more accepting.  I have many nice things, in general, I have good health. I am financially comfortable enough to be able to afford more than the very basics. I've had wonderful vacations with family and friends. I have more than enough. I am grateful for it, very, very grateful. Today, I want to hold on to everything I have as tight as possible.  I want to hold on to all that's good in my life. Today, I realize how precious everything I have is to me.  And that the issues I have or think I have are nothing compared to how horrible things can become.  I fear that time, so tonight, I'm going to hold on to all that's positive right now.

I wasn't where I needed to be...

I often put my cell phone on silent, especially at work. And then, forget to take it out of silent mode. Today, I sincerely regret that I do that and will not do it any more. A friend called me, in great need, and I didn't hear her call. So, I wasn't there when she needed me. 

My friend's husband committed suicide tonight. She called me asking for me to come be with her. I didn't hear the call until 2 hours later. She's OK, she has friends with her now. Her Mom is arriving tomorrow. People who care about her are taking care of her.

But, she called me and I wasn't there. And I wish I could be there. I wasn't any place important when she called. Just another night at the glass studio, which I could have left in a New York minute if I had heard her call.

I wasn't there. I didn't check my phone for messages. I don't get a lot of calls so I got out of the habit of checking the phone for messages. I didn't really think about the fact that terrible things happen, emergencies occur.

I wasn't there when called.

I'll be there in the days ahead. I'll help where I can and back off when asked to. I'll be one of many who will do that for her. I have no doubt that she will have a lot of support from many people who care so much about her.

But tonight, my friend called and I wasn't there.

I hope that never happens again.

Sometimes I get it right...

Last week,while he was here in the States for a company visit,  my UK friend was told that his employment was being terminated. This is the same friend who had decided to find a new job, anyway, but he expected to leave on his own terms and in his own time. Being told that he was being "terminated" before he had all his ducks in a row, was quite a blow. Having been in similar situations, I knew exactly how he felt and was able to articulate those feelings when talking with him, to show I understood how he felt (he tries very hard to be uber-stoic, so when I saw his sadness, I knew he was taking the situation hard). Did what I could to ease the pain, as any friend would do.

Today, in a IM chat, he told me how much my support meant to him. :-) Considering how logical, rational, and pragmatic his demeanor usually is, the fact that he shared that sentiment with me is a big thing. Oh, I knew he appreciated my support, but it went deeper than I thought.

I don't always get it right when it comes to figuring out what someone else needs at any particular time. I got it right this time and I feel good knowing that I was able to bring the right kind of help to someone who needed it.

Bad Behavior

Mine, of course. As much as I strive to be a "person without drama," sometimes I lose sight of my goal and allow myself to be caught up in a moment and poof! behavior I regret.

Had a bit of an argument with someone last night while at another person's house. I felt the person I was arguing with was being hostile and somewhat passive aggressive with me. I finally had had enough and pushed back. Of course, I should have spoken to the person outside of the social situation I was in, but I was "in the moment" and spoke my mind. It was a short moment and came at the end of the evening, but still, I'm sure it was an uncomfortable moment for the host of the evening. I've sent her my apologies for my behavior.

The person I argued with has behaved this way before and in the past, I let it go. I don't think I can do that this time.  Last night, it got to the point where I didn't feel I could even talk because this person would make a snide or passive aggressive comment.

Lately, I feel like I'm surrounded by people who seem to be dismissive of me or just plain mean. Makes me wonder -- is it something that I'm doing or am I just (finally) holding people so my standards of behavior regarding what is or is not acceptable?

Must think on that...

Surprise! I'm going to miss you...

Well, not *you*, but a friend of mine.

A friend of mine lives in the UK, but, for the last few years, he has come to the States for 3 weeks every three months or so for his job (he works for a US company).  When he comes, I get to spend a reasonable amount of time visiting with him on the weekends. We usually have lots of fun, I get a nice change to my normal routine, and most times, I end up going places I wouldn't normally go.

And, he's my oyster buddy :-) He introduced me to the joys of raw oysters and when he's here, we have oysters at least once during his visit.

Recently, he's decided it's time to find another job. And I agree. He's very, very smart, driven, and extremely motivated to create great software products. Not something he can do in his current job. He's been dissatisfied with his work for awhile, but giving up the frequent trips to visit his US friends has kept him holding on.  But, to no one's surprise, he's reached his limit and is now ready to find a new job (and he has a few options lined up).  It all makes sense to me and I am happy that he's ready to do something that's more satisfying and more in line with his talents.

A day later after we talked about this, I suddenly realized that I'm going to miss his visits. And, I'm totally surprised. He's a good friend, but we're not especially close. When he's not here, we don't communicate much. And while we have good times together, we don't share close, personal things very often.  So, I'm surprised at how much I suddenly feel a loss. I know that I'll visit him, and I'm sure he'll come for visits as well -- he has a lot of friends here. But, I didn't realize how much his visits had become a part of my general routine. Once every three months, there he was.

Today, I felt oddly happy and sad. Happy that my friend has a bright future ahead of him and is going to go out and reach for it. And yet so sad that this change means I won't have as many fun times with a friend who, apparently, has come to mean more to me than I realized.
 
Surprise...

Leaves falling like rain...

Driving to work today, a gust of wind brought down a shower of leaves and for a brief moment, the leaves were falling like red and gold rain drops. Like a call from the wild, I suddenly felt like driving to some unknown destination, leaving everything and most everyone behind (there are a couple of dear people that I hope to always carry with me).
There's something about this time of year that makes me think about change. One would think that Spring, with it's new leaves and bright sun, would be the motivation for seeking new adventures. For me, it's autumn. Perhaps it's the change in temperature -- the crisp, cold air that invites movement, if only to keep warm. Or maybe it's the knowledge that the end of the year is coming (albeit a mad-made, arbitrary date) and that there's only a short amount of time left to accomplish those wistfully expressed goals that I made at the beginning of the year.

Whatever it is, today I wish I could just hit the road and drive to somewhere new and different. Instead, I'll be a good girl, place my butt in the chair, and get to work!

(but I wonder...is it that I want to run away from something or run towards something?)

I'm back...again...

Oh, my few loyal readers, did you think I had disappeared forever?

I'm back. Really, I am. Just took a bit of a break from my random nattering which is likely to be as boring as hell, and yet, according to my blog stats, SOMEONE out there is reading (or maybe it's just googlebot indexing my blog for some odd reason).

I was reading some "tips" about how to stay current as a technical writer. Mostly good advice. The problem is, I don't really want to be a modern day technical writer. I liked being the old fashioned kind. You know...the one that wrote the online help and administrator manuals. I liked putting chunks of content together, group huge, dense tracts of text into nice lists, tables, and diagrams.

Alas, that's not the wave of the future. Sigh. Alas, I find the topic of DITA to be a big, boring, blog of blather. Alright, I admit, it has a lot going for it regarding reuse and efficiency. And, perhaps if I had implemented it where I work today, I would be regarded as innovative (but expensive) and maybe I would have a nice content management system that allows me to use content in product documentation AND the web, instead of the crappy process I have to use today. I sort of regret that I took the inexpensive route. And, not using DITA could be a bit job limiting (yes, I'm sure I'll have to find another job within the next couple of years...more about that in another post).

I'm feeling nostalgic for the good, old days of technical writing. Social media, screen casts, video productions...sounds pretty cool and exciting, eh? And yet, I'm having trouble finding the motivation to be bothered with learning all the new stuff.

Perhaps I'm really ready to retire, eh? Too bad I can't afford to do so.

The garden winds down...

One of the things I did manage to do was keep my community garden plot going. Overall, I'm pleased, although a lot of things did not turn out as well as I had hoped. Leeks, onions, and fennel did not do well. A number of plants didn't survive my haphazard care, especially when it came to watering. And the most recent heat while I was away (see previous post!), devastated my magnificent pumpkin and melon vines.

And yet, I have 5 or 6 sugar pumpkins ripening. Four or so melons -- one that's gianormous and should be ready for harvesting soon. The cosmos and sunflowers were fantastic. The zinnias and marigolds took care of themselves. The herbs went wild (I could feed pesto to the world, I have THAT much basil!). I learned a lot of good lessons to apply to next year so, even though things didn't go as expected, I know that next year will be even better.

During the month of July, the garden just looked glorious. The vines were taking over everything, the flowers were blooming happily. Now, the garden looks like the end of summer. Things are dying back, the leaves aren't as bright. It's the natural order of things so it's OK with me.

At home, the patio garden did OK. My tomatoes were doing very well, but some critter kept eating my huge, ripe tomatoes so I lost a number of them. Still, I managed to get some lovely specimens. The hot peppers are wonderful. I'm hoping to make my own paprika from the Hungarian peppers. Although, they're quite tasty when eaten fresh. I've had a few beans and peas that were quite yummy. I plan to plant more of them next year.

Overall, a good growing season. The recent heatwave wasn't all that good for my plants, but most of them were hardy enough to take hold and keep going.

I never did win the battle with the ants. Every time I come home from the garden, I have new bites to contend with...why I don't use insect repellent before entering the garden, I don't know. Right before I went on vacation, my forearm was hideously swollen from insect bites. Luckily, it healed before I left. But, after visiting the garden a couple of times this week, I'm back to my itchy, lumpy state.

Did you miss me? And a few notes about a sailing ship

OK, so I know I have a immensely small (nice juxtaposition of opposing adjectives, eh?) readership. But, I've noticed that when I do get around to posting something, some one reads it eventually.

So, I'm back :-) Did ya miss me? (that's a rhetorical question, of course).

Not sure where the summer went this year. It's just about mid-August and there's tons of stuff I still haven't done. Didn't take out the kayak once. The bike is still in storage with flat tires. I didn't do any of the home renovations that are desperately needed.

What I DID do:

Go away more than usual. A weekend in New York City, a weekend in the White Mountains. And then there was the sailing vacation.

My dear friend B invited me to join her on a sailing ship cruise around the New England coast. Martha's Vineyard, Nantucket, and Cuttyhunk. I've always wanted to take a trip on a sailing ship so, of course, I agreed to go.

What a marvelous trip. Really. It was the first time I went away when I wasn't eager to come home. I could have stayed on that ship for...well, I don't know how long -- maybe forever?

The ship is a beautiful three-masted schooner called the Arabella and she was glorious when under full sail. The routine went like this: Get up in the morning and go up to the deck for coffee and breakfast. By then, we were under way to our next destination. So, we would spend an hour or so sitting on the fore deck, just enjoying the wind and sea. Then down for a shower (the cabin was about as small as could be -- we took turns in there if we weren't sleeping). Then, back to the deck to read, talk, or just sit. The ship was only half full with passengers so there's was always a great place to sit. Then, we'd anchor, have lunch on board, and head off to the day's island to explore, shop, or watch a sunset on the beach. After dinner, it was back to the ship for our nightly session in the hot tub on the aft deck.

One of the best vacations ever. To just sit on the deck, listening to the wind in the sails was sublime. To not have to make any real decisions about what to cook, where to go, what to do...such a relief. To have no real responsibilities...fantabulous.

Sigh.

Garden wars!

This year, my time is fully occupied with gardening. For the first time, ever, I have a real garden plot in the community garden. I've always wanted a flower garden and this year, I'm working on making that happen.

It's been a good learning experience. Watching what my fellow gardeners are doing, I see some things that I could have done better; things that I can plan for next year.

On the plus side, so far, everything I've planted is thriving. We've been very lucky in that we've had rain once or twice a week, so I haven't had to worry about watering yet.

On the other, other hand, I've had to declare war on a stalwart opponent. Ants. Millions.Of.Ants. They seemed to have swarmed into my garden plot after I had cleared the area. Before I started planting, I tried to dig up the area in the vague hope that they would get mad and move away. No such chance. They've dug in and now swarm all over my garden plot. And, since I come home from the garden with a new set of insect bites, I'm convinced that they're the culprits. Each time I scratch yet another large lump on my arm, my anger rises just a bit more.

And so, I've declared war. I don't really care if the ants aren't causing harm to my plants. I just want them to stop making me scratch! Besides, it's not like I moved into their territory. There was NO evidence of life in my little plot of dirt when I did all the work of clearing it. Nope, the insect horde took advantage of an opportunity, without any invitation. And, if they hadn't started with the biting, I might have let them be. But no more.

My first attempt to rid myself of the six-legged intruders was a mixture of vinegar and water. Research indicates that they don't like vinegar and it screws up their scent trails. But, of course, with all the rain we've had, I'm sure that it's all washed away. I'll try again.

I've planted tansy -- a plant that ants supposedly don't like. When I get back to the garden, I'll check to see if that area is now ant free. If so, I might get more and plant it around the border of my garden plot. And I'll be searching for more lethal approaches. After noticing yet one more insect bite, I have no sympathy for the mobile marauders. None at all. There's plenty of land for both of us ...they have to move or suffer the consequences!

Despite this unpleasant challenge, I did manage to get a nice, little bouquet for the house (after picking off the ants, of course).

Must remember how to say NO

I'm usually quite good about not over committing myself. Able to say no, able to set priorities. Lately though, I seem to have totally forgotten how to order my life in a comfortable way. I feel overwhelmed and over committed.

For the first time ever, I seem to have overbooked my sparse allotment of vacation time. I agreed to go on a trip with a relative this year. But, since we've been trying to plan a trip for two years, I really didn't expect she would come through. But she did. AFTER, I already made plans with someone else. So, that takes almost 2 of the 3 weeks that I get. Add in a few days to visit my parents, and I probably won't be able to take my typical week in December. I love taking the last week in December off and I'm annoyed with myself that I've overbooked my time so much that it's unlikely to happen. And, unless I take some sick time, I'm unlikely to get any time off just to do nothing.

Work is busy and stressful. I come home tired. But, there's going to the glass studio once or twice a week. And now, the stupid community garden which seems like it will never be done. But, I need to get there several times a week to make sure something survives because it's been like late July here with no rain in sight.

And then, there's the writing group that I want to go to once a month, except I'm too tired to think of writing anything except these silly blog entries. And then there's the artist support group that I've started going to..only once a month, but still, it's something on my calendar.

And there are people I want to see, movies to see, and, I desperately need to do some work in the home (many things need replacing and upgrading), and my car needs care, and I haven't done any kayaking at all, which I miss terribly, and, and, and...see what I mean? I'm out of control.

I'm really not a high-energy person. I like to have lots of down time. Time to set some priorities and start saying NO to new activities!!!

Too bad I can't just retire. That would free up so much time!

:-)

Good news, bad news day

Some days are like roller coasters. Up and down.

After being hounded by the vendor who supplies my documentation development tool (and offered a nice discount), I signed up for a product 1-day roadshow in Boston. My plan was to take the train in to avoid the high cost of parking and the nasty traffic. Here's how the day went:

The Good News: I had no problem getting up extra early so I could catch the 7:00 train.

The Bad News: I happened to be check the MBTA website in the morning and saw an alert that the trains were delayed by over 30 minutes. This meant I'd have to drive in to get to the seminar on time.

The Good News: Traffic sucked but wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I arrived in plenty of time to get a good seat. And it was rainy and cold. I didn't mind not having to hike from the train station to the hotel.

The Bad News: Another attendee did take the train and I found out that there wasn't a delay after all. I could have avoided the nasty ride and paying for parking. Even more bad news, I didn't park at the hotel parking lot and the vendor was offering parking validation (which would have discounted the cost of parking). Why didn't the vendor say something about parking validation before the event?

The Good News: Parking ended up costing me a lot less than I expected. Not sure if I read the rates incorrectly when I parked or some weird, good karma mistake. In any case, it wasn't bad at all. Even more good news: I got home a lot earlier than if I had taken the train (but the traffic still sucked).

The Bad News: I'm rarely out of the office, but the one day I am out, the CTO asks to set up a brainstorming session with me. After looking at the presentation handout, I start to wonder if I made a mistake in attending the seminar.

The Good news: I heard a number of interesting tips that are going to be quite useful. Attending the event wasn't a waste at all. And, I'll get to meet with the CTO later on in the week (which gives me a bit of time to prepare my thoughts).

And that's how my day went. I'm looking forward to a more even-tempered day tomorrow.

Company lunches=2, Me=0

It's a bit ironic, or just weird karma.

Out of two company-sponsored lunches that I've had in the last week, I haven't been able to eat what I actually ordered.

Bad Lunch Karma event #1: We have a power outage in the morning. While we're waiting for the power to come back, one of the manager proposes that if we contribute non-perishables to a local food bank, the company will buy us lunch at a local Mexican restaurant. Cool. So, we all place our orders (I wanted a chicken salad with salsa, beans, etc), get our food donations at the local supermarket and come back to the office to get our lunches. And I'm really hungry. But I open my lunch to discover that it's not salad with chicken but it's pork and it includes guacamole (which I despise -- yes, I know avocado is a magic health food -- but I hate the flavor and the texture. Although, I do like the color :-)) Bleah. I check around and no, no one else has what I ordered. I end up NOT eating lunch because I just don't want to make the trip back to the restaurant and exchange it.

Bad Lunch Karma even #2: We have two new employees and the VP of Engineering organizes a welcome lunch at the local Thai restaurant. I like the Pad Thai at this place and am eagerly looking forward to it. We're a huge group (21+ people) and I'm one of the last people to get my lunch. Which isn't what I ordered. It's a variation of what I ordered, so I figure, how bad could it be. I take the lunch instead of sending it back, because people are already eating, I eat slow to begin with, and I don't want to hold people up as I try to finish up. The Pad Thai variation that I ended up with is horrible. Bleah. I eat as much as I can tolerate. Even then, without me eating all of my lunch, I'm one of the last people to finish. The server was quite nice about it. He knows I didn't get what I ordered and asks me how it was. I tell him, "not so good" but explain that it's not his fault, I know I could have sent it back. He gives me a card with a note about a complimentary lunch. Nice service! Turns out, someone else took my lunch, somehow not realizing that he was not eating what he ordered -- or maybe he did what I did...figured it was too much of a bother to send it back since it took so long to serve our large group. He 'fessed up about it later ...what could I do? I laughed and now it's a bit of a joke.

Seems like bringing my lunch is much safer than trying to get what I want from a company lunch!

Technologically brain dead?

Once upon a time, I took pride in my ability to learn and use new technology. I was quite smug about it, in fact. Lately, I'm feeling brain dead.

Case in point. During a recent trip to the local supermarket, I decided to try out the "scan as you go" equipment. The idea is that you carry a portable scanner and bag with you. As you select your items, you can and drop it into your bag. When you get to the cashier area, you don't have to scan each item, just download the results of your portable scanner and out you go. Only, I had a miserable time managing. First I had to guess how to activate the scanner as there were no instructions (scan your store card, and grab the scanner that lights up). But, that wasn't too bad. But, then came the time when I had to scan my first item. I looked at this device in my hand and stared at the various buttons, wondering which one to press to activate the laser scan. After trying each button, I guess that pressing the big one that made the red laser glow was the one. But, the scanning mechanism didn't work well. I had to try scanning each item multiple times. I assume that I was supposed to press the buttons in some order that worked only when I accidentally pressed things in the right order. Then, at checkout, I had no idea how to finish up the order. There was a sign that said, scan the end of order code. But, what I didn't realize was that it meant I had to use the scanner to read the bar code on the sign! I ended up feeling stupid and flustered. I doubt I'll use it again because it's a lot easier to just scan things at the checkout area. Bleah.

Another case in point: We're using our bug tracking system in a new way to track our activities. Only, half the time, I can't see the sub tasks that are assigned to me. I just moved one task to the Done column (because I'm done with it) and the task vanished. It doesn't show up in the Done column. Again, I ended up feeling stupid and flustered.

And don't get me started with Facebook! I don't use it often, so I'm unfamiliar with the interface to begin with. It keeps changing so every time I look at my main page, I'm baffled. I don't even know what I'm looking at and there are so many options now, I'm not sure which one to choose. Thank Heavens that Twitter is still simple.

Either the world is becoming one big, unusable interface, or I really AM getting old and unable to keep up with new technology. Either way, it's making me cranky.

Peppadew - new favorite food

Last summer, while traipsing through the North End in Boston with a friend, we stumbled upon a wine tasting event at one of the local wine stores. Absolutely amazing in that it was free, and included an spread of food that was to die for. Antipasti, Italian meats, cheeses, breads. My friend called my attention to a red pepper called Peppadew®. "Taste this," she burst out joyously - she had eaten them before.

Now, I tend to be a bit leery of unknown peppers. I despise the taste of Bell peppers, but love the taste of hot peppers (odd, isn't that?). I didn't know about this Peppadew thing...I speared one with a handy toothpick and gingerly took a small bite. HEAVEN! I wanted to eat the whole bowl full (but I was polite and only had a few).

A Peppadew is actually a brand name for a type of piquant pepper from South Africa. According to Wikiopedia, the pepper (which looks a lot like a red, cherry pepper) is processed to reduce the heat and then pickled. You're left with a slightly sweet pepper, with just a hint of heat. It's rated at 1,177 on the Scoville scale--quite mild, actually, less than a typical jalapeno. But, amazing delicious.

I recently found them at a local supermarket where I stopped on my way to a rare Mah Jongg game. Where, oddly enough, someone else brought them as well. It has been months so I had a Peppadew -- in fact, I had forgotten about them. But, now, that we've been reacquainted, I'm thinking about all the ways to include them in my normal meals (add them to scrambled eggs? Mac&Cheese? Salads, of course. Quinoa pilaf?).

On my list of things to do today...buy Peppadews and hope I don't eat them all at one sitting!

Nothing like good food

Dining to me is more than just shoveling food into my mouth in 15 minutes. I adore fine dining and taking the time to just enjoy the entire experience. Tonight I went out to eat at Ming Tsai's restaurant, Blue Ginger. OhMiGod...what a fantastic meal.

We started out with Ginger Gimlets, a signature cocktail. A perfect drink for the warm weather -- a touch of sweetness, a taste of lime. A perfect way to start out.
Next came the fired calamari with what seemed to be some type of herbed vinegar dipping sauce. Not greasy and the batter was light and crunchy. I had butterfish, one of my friends had the pouisson (tea soaked chicken), and the other had the mushroom and vegetable ragout. Mine was perfectly cooked fish with soba noodle wrapped in seaweed. Fantastic. Dessert was a shared triple chocolate cake with cardamom ice cream.

In addition to the excellent quality of the food, I was quite impressed that the servings were normal size. Enough to satisfy your hunger, but not so much that you had to bring home half your dinner. No plates were overflowing with food. Instead, the portions were a reasonable size. You could clear your plate without feeling like you had eaten like a pig. Really nice.

I so love food....especially when it's extraordinarily well prepared.

Corporate ideas that go splat...

Upper management in high-tech start-up companies often wants to create a "Kool Kulture." Start-ups are supposed to be such nifty, neato places to work that the employees are happy to work all kinds of long hours just to be part of the fun.

So, the executive staff tries to come up with clever ways to "build culture." Of course, culture is something that happens based on how the personalities on the people leading the company as well as the relationships that form over time. When management tries to force the issue, their efforts often fall flat.

Recently, one of the managers where I work decided that a great way to get people to bond was to have everyone share some mortifying or embarrassing moment that happened to them. The idea was well meant -- showing vulnerability towards another can lead to trust between people. But, when the idea was presented at our weekly company meeting, my first reaction was horror. Uh, you want me to get up and have people laugh at me because I did something stupid? Lovely. Just the impression I want my co-workers to have of me. And to leave myself open to being forever teased about the event?

I checked my reaction with a person I trust there as well as a few friends (interestingly enough, all women). Everyone I spoke with validated that my horror at having to endure endless stories of humiliation was reasonable. Nope, I wasn't being overly sensitive (I was teased mercilessly as a child, so I do have some sensitivities in this area).

But, I kept silent. Until the day when I was called on to volunteer to be the next victim at an upcoming meeting. And, somewhat to my surprise, I demurred, politely. But when pressed (I was told that "we'll let you go for now, but you WILL be called on), I made it clear I would not participate in this new venture. And immediately wondered if I had just made a career-limiting move. The only saving grace was that the others who were tagged after me also indicated that they were not interested in playing along.

I'm not sure why I decided not to play the corporate game this time around. Usually, I would go along, feeling that it was necessary to be a "team player." For some reason, I decided that I had to set a boundary and if I didn't want to do something that had nothing to do with my job responsibilities, I just didn't have to. No need to explain my reasons to anyone.

Curiously enough, the manager decided to not continue this practice. Was it me, taking a stand against something that offended me, that led to others taking the same stand? Did other managers feel the same and send that message along? I'll never know for sure, but I do feel good that I decided to set a standard and keep to it. And, I'm thrilled that this nonsense has ended. Ugh. Really, there are so many positive ways to get people to share some personal details about themselves without focusing on humiliation and shame. What leads people to think these things are fun?